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HelpWhat is your opinion about parents who choose a nice name and then shorten/change it to something else?
I have edited this post because I have realized that some people have been upset by the way I have expressed myself (totally my fault) and made comparisons between two cultures, so I am sincerely sorry if I have upset anyone. I really apologize.
I have noticed that people are very prone to shortening their children's names. It amazes me that parents desperately try to search for a nickname when deciding on a name. Sometimes they have that attitude of "Oh, what a cute name, but it doesn't have a nickname that I like, so no", as if the nickname was more important than the full name. Some parents even report this when they have a baby: "We named our son Michael, but we call him Mike." "We have a daughter named Angelina, but she is Lina to everyone." My reaction is: Why don't you just call her that, period? In the end many do not use their birth name.
Again, not a criticism. It just makes me a little sad. In general, I fall in love with long names and when I see a long name (sometimes not so long) being shortened by a simpler one, it makes me sad. Rosalind who ends up being Rosie, Anastasia who ends up being Stasia, Benjamin who ends up being Ben... They're not that pretty.
I have noticed that people are very prone to shortening their children's names. It amazes me that parents desperately try to search for a nickname when deciding on a name. Sometimes they have that attitude of "Oh, what a cute name, but it doesn't have a nickname that I like, so no", as if the nickname was more important than the full name. Some parents even report this when they have a baby: "We named our son Michael, but we call him Mike." "We have a daughter named Angelina, but she is Lina to everyone." My reaction is: Why don't you just call her that, period? In the end many do not use their birth name.
Again, not a criticism. It just makes me a little sad. In general, I fall in love with long names and when I see a long name (sometimes not so long) being shortened by a simpler one, it makes me sad. Rosalind who ends up being Rosie, Anastasia who ends up being Stasia, Benjamin who ends up being Ben... They're not that pretty.
This message was edited 3/6/2022, 12:03 PM
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What I don't understand is when parents choose a long gorgeous name with lots of interesting syllables to play in like nooks and crannies in a big house, and then get offended when people do play with the name by making nicknames out of it. For me one of the wonderful things about names in general is handling them in the mouth, feeling them morph in everyday usage etc. A name isn't, like, a "bit" of data that needs to stay uniform. It's sounds that refer to a real person. So the long beautiful name is always available but then there are so many shorter things you can do, too, when you're feeling more playful...
Insisting on only the short form is equally weird IMO, and when people name their kids Ben or Mike or Katie I feel cheated that if I wanted to dance with the longer forms of their names, I would be doing false historicization.
Insisting on only the short form is equally weird IMO, and when people name their kids Ben or Mike or Katie I feel cheated that if I wanted to dance with the longer forms of their names, I would be doing false historicization.
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It's their choice. If their child wants to be known by a different name, or a different version, that is the child's choice - I'm assuming an adult or even adolescent child, not a six-year-old who wants to be called by the name of a brand of peanut butter.
I know a Laine (not Elaine) and a Vickie (not Victoria), and they both report that if they are in trouble/working for a new person/about to be told some bad news, they typically get called Elaine or Victoria, and unless it comes from the only other person in the room, they typically ignore it because it just isn't their name. And explanations follow. Not the end of the world, but an on-going inconvenience. (Vickie's father registered her birth, only to find that his wife had wanted a different spelling. He didn't change it.)
I know a Laine (not Elaine) and a Vickie (not Victoria), and they both report that if they are in trouble/working for a new person/about to be told some bad news, they typically get called Elaine or Victoria, and unless it comes from the only other person in the room, they typically ignore it because it just isn't their name. And explanations follow. Not the end of the world, but an on-going inconvenience. (Vickie's father registered her birth, only to find that his wife had wanted a different spelling. He didn't change it.)
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You seem a little contradictory here. You say they should just give them the nickname as the full name if that's what they're going to use, but then also find the existence of nicknames sad.
I don't love nicknames as given names. Some have enough identity as their own name but many just sound too childish or informal to carry through life and it eliminates options.
But nicknames happen. It is very normal.
I don't love nicknames as given names. Some have enough identity as their own name but many just sound too childish or informal to carry through life and it eliminates options.
But nicknames happen. It is very normal.
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Others have covered it pretty well, but I have one more thing to add.
I know people who were just given the nickname rather than the full version, such as Becky or Jenny.
Many people don’t feel comfortable defaulting to a nickname when they first meet someone, especially in formal situations. It can feel too intimate or unprofessional. So people like teachers, bosses or just new acquaintances in general will often go for the obvious longer version. Then the person with a nickname as a given name is faced with a dilemma about whether to let it slide or correct them. Many people do not like being corrected or looking foolish and react with resentment. It starts your entire relationship off on the wrong foot. I know it shouldn’t matter but it does.
I know people who were just given the nickname rather than the full version, such as Becky or Jenny.
Many people don’t feel comfortable defaulting to a nickname when they first meet someone, especially in formal situations. It can feel too intimate or unprofessional. So people like teachers, bosses or just new acquaintances in general will often go for the obvious longer version. Then the person with a nickname as a given name is faced with a dilemma about whether to let it slide or correct them. Many people do not like being corrected or looking foolish and react with resentment. It starts your entire relationship off on the wrong foot. I know it shouldn’t matter but it does.
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Well, for me, I don't want my nickname as my full name. I'm William, but most people call me Will. I like having a longer name for job interviews and being professional. However, it feels so formal when I'm with my friends! I also feel as if I'm in trouble at home, lol. I guess it really depends on the bearer's perspective. As for my parents, they call me Will since "Will-yum" can be a mouthful at times. Maybe that's the case for others. Besides, nicknames are fun!
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Besides the points some have made (its more personal, it gives you options), I also find that a lot of people think long names come off as pretentious, and I can kind of see it.
And if it's inevitable that they will be given a nickname by others, I'd rather it be one that I like.
And if it's inevitable that they will be given a nickname by others, I'd rather it be one that I like.
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I think it's a waste of a great names. If you are just going to change it, why bother?
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I can respect the decision if parents liked a certain name with a nickname and instead of actually giving the child that nickname as their first legal name. For example, You like Ben so much? You give him Benjamin as a first name, go by Ben, or if he doesn't like the nickname he can just use Benjamin. Or the wonderful Elizabeth with many nicknames. Nothing wrong with the long name and giving it a nickname. it actually sounds like something I would do myself since I don't tend to like diminutives as first names by themselves.
Personally, I like a lot of names that are generally long. Isadora, Anastasia, Beatrix, or Katerina. But I'm not going to shorten it, to something like Dora, Ana, Bea, Trixie, or Kat. (Especially not Dora) I chose the long name for a reason! So I can't say that I mind that some people use nicknames, but I can't do it myself.
What really bugs me even if it has nothing to concern with me is when people try and search for nicknames for something that really doesn't need one. Like no, Olivia does not need a nickname, just call her Olivia if you like the name so much. Neither does Emily, Scarlett, Aurora, Gabriella, Veronica, none of them. Especially if the name is one syllable, come on now.
Personally, I like a lot of names that are generally long. Isadora, Anastasia, Beatrix, or Katerina. But I'm not going to shorten it, to something like Dora, Ana, Bea, Trixie, or Kat. (Especially not Dora) I chose the long name for a reason! So I can't say that I mind that some people use nicknames, but I can't do it myself.
What really bugs me even if it has nothing to concern with me is when people try and search for nicknames for something that really doesn't need one. Like no, Olivia does not need a nickname, just call her Olivia if you like the name so much. Neither does Emily, Scarlett, Aurora, Gabriella, Veronica, none of them. Especially if the name is one syllable, come on now.
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It's apparently a cultural difference?
And I'm afraid that in spite of your denials, it was a criticism, a generalization (there are tons of Michaels who go by Michael and not mike, for instance) and an assumption that your preferred way is the only understandable way.
And I'm afraid that in spite of your denials, it was a criticism, a generalization (there are tons of Michaels who go by Michael and not mike, for instance) and an assumption that your preferred way is the only understandable way.
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Agreed
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Alright, allow me to explain it best I can from my own opinion, experience and observations:
When you have a longer name that has 1 or more standard nicknames, it allows that child to have the chance to have several options for personal expression and self identity. An option barred to the shorted named people such as myself growing up. I could be Grace or Gracie and that was it. My elder sister Christina experimented with a variety of nicknames growing up. In her lifetime thus far at nearly 30 she's been Christina, Christine, Chrissy, Christy, Christa, Chris, Tina and Teeny. All derived from 1 single longer given name that allowed her that chance of personal expression and experimentation with age and life stages until she settled on the name she most identified with as an adult. My younger sister as well who has a notable 2 part name but opts for a nickname derived from 1 of her 2 in her day to day life, but she still goes by both in professional settings.
I adore longer names. They give me life and I am always pleased in some capacity of a fanciful longer choice IRL. But we are not always "that person" 100% of the time and different names can be used in different settings. I love Elisabeth but it seems so formal to call a baby girl that in full. So grownup and formal for an informal time period. As a baby, maybe she is Libby, but her parents feel Libby is too informal for a legal name. Maybe they transition her to Elisabeth by grade school aged and out of early childhood. Sometimes names only serve us for a time in our lives but aren't suited for the entire lifetime for this or that reason.
When you have a longer name that has 1 or more standard nicknames, it allows that child to have the chance to have several options for personal expression and self identity. An option barred to the shorted named people such as myself growing up. I could be Grace or Gracie and that was it. My elder sister Christina experimented with a variety of nicknames growing up. In her lifetime thus far at nearly 30 she's been Christina, Christine, Chrissy, Christy, Christa, Chris, Tina and Teeny. All derived from 1 single longer given name that allowed her that chance of personal expression and experimentation with age and life stages until she settled on the name she most identified with as an adult. My younger sister as well who has a notable 2 part name but opts for a nickname derived from 1 of her 2 in her day to day life, but she still goes by both in professional settings.
I adore longer names. They give me life and I am always pleased in some capacity of a fanciful longer choice IRL. But we are not always "that person" 100% of the time and different names can be used in different settings. I love Elisabeth but it seems so formal to call a baby girl that in full. So grownup and formal for an informal time period. As a baby, maybe she is Libby, but her parents feel Libby is too informal for a legal name. Maybe they transition her to Elisabeth by grade school aged and out of early childhood. Sometimes names only serve us for a time in our lives but aren't suited for the entire lifetime for this or that reason.
This message was edited 3/6/2022, 11:28 AM
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Thank you for your great contribution, Diana.
First of all, I'm really sorry if I've sounded disrespectful or judgmental. I swear that was not my intention. I'm writing this with the small keyboard on my pc screen because some keys don't work and since I don't write in English perfectly either, I wanted the post to be as short and concise as possible, so that's why I haven't explained myself well. I also made the comparisons to my culture as a way of explaining why I find this so peculiar, since writing this in English makes it seem like I am English too. Either way, I sincerely apologize.
Your comment has helped me understand things better. The fact that your name can "evolve" with you as you grow up sounds great. There are nicknames that I like more than the full name itself, like Maggie over Margaret, Kate over Katherine, Lottie over Charlotte, etc. But in general I still prefer long and a bit formal names, sorry, even if some of them are a bit too much xD.
First of all, I'm really sorry if I've sounded disrespectful or judgmental. I swear that was not my intention. I'm writing this with the small keyboard on my pc screen because some keys don't work and since I don't write in English perfectly either, I wanted the post to be as short and concise as possible, so that's why I haven't explained myself well. I also made the comparisons to my culture as a way of explaining why I find this so peculiar, since writing this in English makes it seem like I am English too. Either way, I sincerely apologize.
Your comment has helped me understand things better. The fact that your name can "evolve" with you as you grow up sounds great. There are nicknames that I like more than the full name itself, like Maggie over Margaret, Kate over Katherine, Lottie over Charlotte, etc. But in general I still prefer long and a bit formal names, sorry, even if some of them are a bit too much xD.
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You're okay! Your comment just felt vaguely targeted at me personally since I am an American and am one of the natorious "long legal name short nickname" on here so I was a little miffed at the perceived judgment.
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I honestly think the attitude of every name needing a nickname is kind of annoying. A few people have tried to shorten my name to Rin before, but I find it redundant to make a nickname of a name that is only four letters in the first place. Other times, there are names that I love in their full forms, but I'm not very big on the nicknames (for example, I've been considering Jillian lately, but I don't really like the nickname Jill).
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